Eyes Open Teaser

Here is the teaser for my piece for Fandon 4 No Kid Hungry...

President Snow’s piercing stare and Haymitch’s words of warning play over and over in my head the entire way back to District 12. Despite the worry building up within me about having angered the Capitol, I still feel some sense of relief seep into me the closer we get to home.

Home…hopefully once I’m there, everything will start to make sense again. No more confusion over the things Peeta has said to me and then dealing with his disappointment because I can make him no promises for a future together. No more manipulating and performing for sponsors. No more cameras watching my every move of every day.

I can be get back to how life used to be. I can see Prim smile, having fulfilled the promise I made to her to come back. I can get back to my routine of hunting with Gale.

Gale. A sticky situation in and of himself. I know he no doubt saw everything that transpired between Peeta and I. I’m not quite sure I know how to explain it all to him, and honestly, until now I didn’t think I really had need to worry about it. He’s always been just Gale to me, but now…knowing that I’ll soon have to face him and account for my actions, I realize that there is something more to him…something that makes him no longer just Gale.

It’s the realization of that though that turns my thoughts back to Peeta. He’s a good boy. He’ll always be my boy with the bread. So the thought of bringing our charade to an end…for some unexplicable reason, tugs at my heart.

All of this is confusing and making my head hurt. Suddenly going home doesn’t seem like such a relief as reality comes crashing down. Effie doesn’t do much to help either. The entire train ride back to District 12 she’s been prattling on about all of our obligations now that we’re the victors of this year’s games.

The welcoming ceremony when we first return, banquets in our honor, parades…and then of course in a few months’ time we have the victory tour around the districts we are required to take. Thinking of that tour reminds me that we’ll be heading to District 11 and facing the people who knew and loved Rue. Not a single day has passed since the end of the games that I haven’t thought about her.

To be honest, I can’t go much more than a few minutes without something reminding me of that arena, of what happened there. I had hoped that once the train doors closed and I was sped away from the Capitol, I could leave all the memories of what happened behind me.

The truth is though, that death and the knowledge that your own demise is precariously imminent…changes a person in ways no one who hasn’t been through it can understand. I’ve tried keeping things to myself. I suspect Peeta knows my struggle though, there is a certain sadness in his eyes now that tells me that he is suffering much the same as me, if not more. At least with my coming from The Seam, I was a bit more hardened to the harsher realities of life. But Peeta’s being the baker’s son offered him a much more sheltered childhood than I had.

The train shudders to a halt as we reach home. Effie runs off to who knows where to make sure everything is in order, and Haymitch takes the moment to remind us of what’s at stake.

“Remember Sweetheart, they’re all watching you. Keep your eyes open and make sure you keep on playing the game. They’re all just waiting to see you make a mistake so they can make their move,” he tells me.

My words falter and die in my throat. I never wanted any of this. All I wanted was to survive the games and get to come home. Now, I have to keep an eye on every move I make because one small slip can cost not only me, but my family and Peeta’s family as well.